Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
