if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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