sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
