I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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