I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
