you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
