Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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