I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
