Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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