She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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