I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
