Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
