so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize