Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
