And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
