Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
