even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
