i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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