he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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