Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and you said cock pushups were impossible
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
