one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
