You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
