A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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