the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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