It's Friday. Sex?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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