I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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