Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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