if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
