Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
