ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Let's paint friendship bongs
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
