Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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