Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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