how can u be prego again
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
