so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
