you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
