she woke up with a sticky ear
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
