Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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