yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
