real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
