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At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
