you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
