yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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