dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize