I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize