I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
