i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
