I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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