stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
