i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
