And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
