if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize