I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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