I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
