I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
