I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
