I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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