Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
