i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We smell like vodka and hangover
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
