hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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