i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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